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I believe that timing is everything. But so is Karma, coincidence, and luck. I am not philosphical or spiritual, but Dan if you turned down a good offer based on 'timing' it just wasn't meant to be.
P.S. - Are you leaving us?
Timing, I find, is actually a very good reason. Think of all the people you could have dated/might have, but didn't, because the timing wasn't right. People use that excuse all the time.
Yes, we have control of our lives, and if you had REALLY wanted that offer, Dan, you would have made it work. I think timing can be a big part of a decision, but it always comes partnered with other reasons and factors. It's just the easiest to explain :)
Here is my advice: forcing things works so rarely that it's not worth trying, on average. Sometimes you can get away with it, but you are not John McClane.
The danger in this is that you start using it as an explanation to yourself when making big decisions. You bring up a number of reasons why you chose to stay in Toronto, and they're absolutely valid ones. If you're telling yourself the timing isn't right, you just need to make sure you can explain to yourself why the timing isn't right. If you're just saying it for its own sake (which I don't think was the case for you) then you might be limiting your possibilities.